I’m still on that journey of discovery. I know the truth about myself, and that truth has set me free to be myself. I’m sure that God is in the business of helping people discover who they really are. I believe that people live either in fear or love. If fear dominates their life, they probably hate anything which is outside their experience and doesn’t fit their set of beliefs, which they haven’t really challenged. For them, it is important to have all the answers, even if those answers bypass reason and logic. If it’s good enough for the pastor who is bible-trained, then it’s good enough for them.
When people live in love, they know the heart of God, who is love — love unconditional and never-ceasing. We are called to show that love even to our enemies, or those who perceive themselves to be our enemies. Frankly, I can’t show that kind of love unless I first love myself and know that I am loved. But now I see God in much broader terms — not masculine or feminine, but a loving personality who brought the universe into being, and all of humankind, including people like us.
We were made to be in relationship, and when relationships break down, it is like winter. I was in winter for 63 years, but now it is permanent spring for me. Spring is my favourite season. It anticipates great things — including the coming of a dazzling light.
This poem I wrote in 2015 after I came out. It is not just my story, but the story of everyone who has come out of pain and grief into a new life of hope and joy.
When we arose from the ground on angel-wings,
And like the mighty eagle, soared high
Among the wispy clouds,
We whistled into the gale,
Laughed at the growling thunder,
And out of the driving storm,
Knew we’d seen beyond the rainbow’s arch
Into the panorama of crystal, blue sky,
And we moved through the breathless
Heat of the sun.