Finding a life-long partner is almost an obsession with most single people. “Is it ever gonna happen to me?” You can almost get into a panic about it. So when you finally start dating a decent prospect, you find yourself doing whatever you can to “make it work.” Pastor Romell and Damion say you shouldn’t have to work so hard. Dating is all about getting to know each other, seeing if you’re a good fit. Don’t rush it, don’t push it. Relax and enjoy the process.
But here’s a key: Focus on yourself first. Build your life and your character, get yourself together. Are you ready to be somebody else’s “somebody”? You’re looking for a partner, not a project — and so is your future spouse.
If you’ve got a jealous streak, work on it before jumping into a relationship. Do you have trust issues? Always focusing on the negative? Worried about getting your heart broken? Start there, deal with your issues. Oddly, when you reach a point where you are comfortable with yourself, when you’re happy in your own life, suddenly God seems to open doors to bring you someone to walk with you.
It’s a process of coming to a place of emotional wholeness. When you get to know who you are, and come to love who you are, when someone else comes into your life, you won’t be overwhelmed by him or her. You won’t be desperate and clingy, needy. You’ll have a clear head and a clear heart to see the other person for who they are and what life with you two together might look like.
And it’s not just an issue for younger single people. Even when you’re older, even into your 60s, don’t think “it’s too late for you” or that you missed your moment. That can breed negativity in your life, and it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Who wants to be around that? Many younger gays and lesbians are attracted to and seeking older people for relationships. You (hopefully) have a stability and maturity that is attractive. You’ve got more life tools in your toolbox. Appreciate yourself and the richness of your life. If you’re single and older, it’s never too late, and your time has not passed. It’s as true for you as it is for younger singles: when you’re ready, when you’re happy with yourself, things often fall into place unexpectedly.
Take a look …
* See more “From Me to We” videos by Pastor Romell and Damion Parks-Weekly on their YouTube channel.
ROMELL WEEKLY pastors The Sanctuary, an affirming congregation in Saint Louis, Missouri, and has written three life-changing books about homosexuality and the Bible: Homosexianity, The Rebuttal, and his latest book, Homosexuality and the Death of the Church — all available from Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle format. He is the founder of The Center For Affirming Theology and also blogs at Third Day Faith.
by Pastor Romell D. Weekly
by Pastor Romell D. Weekly
In these two faith-affirming books, Pastor Weekly uncovers the biblical witness about sexual orientation and gender identity that will bring peace to your soul, and equip you to effectively minister to members of the LGBT community from a spirit of love and truth.