Dear Gay Uncle: A weekend hookup is tempting

Q Dear Gay Uncle,

Last weekend I had a blazing row with my boyfriend. We said a lot of things and really let rip into each other.

I moved all my stuff out and moved back to my apartment. I went on a hook up site and spent the weekend with a guy. It was just a weekend thing as he was just in town for work.

On Monday my boyfriend apologised for causing the argument. The argument was about how he always feels that I’m going to go off with another guy. I’m not that sort of person and have never been unfaithful before. I do would not want an open relationship, monogamy is where I feel happy. I decided not to tell him about my hook up, and we had a romantic meal together and talked about our future as a couple. The dynamic seemed okay, but on Thursday, the weekend hook up messaged me asking if I was free on Saturday next week. I didn’t think he’d be back in contact, but now he has, I’m tempted.

How can I tell if I’d be better being single for a while? There’s nothing particularly wrong with my relationship, but since our big row things feel different.

Anonymous

 

A Anonymous,

You need to clear the air with your boyfriend. If things aren’t working between the two of you, those things need to be talked through. What is it that is really bothering you? What was said in the row? It seems to be unresolved. Use this opportunity to talk through things in a rational way.

There is no point being in a relationship just because it sort of works. Is “sort of” a good situation to be in?

If being single seems preferable to being in a relationship with your boyfriend, then perhaps it is. If you are tempted to see someone behind his back, then your answer may be right there in front of you. You’ve got some questions you need to ask yourself.


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