Feeling Safe

She had a cold, so I ran us a bubble bath and brought the box of tissues into the bathroom with me. I undressed and got in first. Then I watched her slowly and self-consciously take off her clothing while she sniffled. I wasn’t trying to be a creep and check her out or anything. I just thought that she was utterly adorable in her careful preparation.

“Are you stuffy?” I asked her.

She sniffled and nodded her head yes. Then she got into the tub and said in a small voice, “I am very stuffy.”

She sat down across from me and gazed at me. Our legs ran parallel to each other. She smiled. I smiled back and tickled her knee.” Are you feeling any better?”

She shrugged and made a face. “No, not really. Thank you for the bath.”

“Thank you for letting me take care of you.” She shrugged her shoulders to her ears and continued to smile.

I took her hand and squeezed it. “Tell me about your day.”

She pouted a little. “It was kind of rough.”

“I’m sorry, babe. Tell me about it.”

She looked up at the ceiling, thinking. “Well, do you remember when I told you about my best friend from high school? She was the one who died in a car accident.”

I nodded my head yes and squeezed her hand again.

She continued. “Today’s the six year anniversary, but it feels like we lost her just yesterday, you know?”

“I’m sorry, baby. I wish I could have met her.”

“I wish she could have met you. She would have been so excited for me. She was there for me while I tried to figure out my sexuality.”

“What was she like?”

“Well, she was straight, which is why our friendship worked. There was no chemistry between us. She wanted to be a pediatrician because she enjoyed working with children. She always told me that she would be the one to figure out how to make shots less painful for them. She hated the idea of hurting them.”

“She sounds like she was a great great person.”

“I went to the graveyard today.”

“Oh, honey. Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come up with you.”

She took one of my hands in both of hers. “No, I know. I just thought that I owed it to her to go by myself. We were best friends, after all. Her parents moved away right after she died, and nobody from school cares anymore. There are no flowers on her grave. Nobody visits.” She wrapped her arms around her body and looked down. “It was so cold.”

As if almost on cue, she began to sneeze. She wheezed at first a few times, as if the sneeze was trying to decide if it would come out, and then she sneezed three times. It was very cute.

“Bless you, sweetie.” I handed her a tissue.

“Thank you.”

“Where do you think her spirit is now?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.” A few tears dripped down her cheek, and I wiped them away.”

“I think she’s in heaven.”

She looked up at me with hope in her eyes. “You believe in heaven?”

“I always have, ever since I was a little girl,” I said. She sniffled, and I wiped her nose with my fingers.

We sat in silence for a minute. I looked down at the water and twirled my finger in it. Finally, she said, “I always feel safe with you.”

I smiled up at her. “Really?”


I leaned in and kissed her. She tasted of the tomato and lettuce she had had on her sandwich for dinner. Those gorgeous green eyes flashed at me when I pulled away.

“I feel safe with you, too.”

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Marrinan-KatKATHRYN OLIVIA MARRINAN is a junior at Gordon College, a Non-Denominational Christian college in MA. She is a Christian Ministry major who hopes that God will use her to alleviate some of the suffering in this world. She also loves to read, write, sing, and dance; and her loved ones call her Kat. She blogs at http://lordsavemefromme21.wordpress.com/