His parents arranged his marriage, but he still wants to see me…

Q Dear Gay Uncle,

I’ve been dating a Muslim guy from college, he’s not out to his parents. I’ve tried to broach the subject with him but he doesn’t want to upset them. He’s the only son and the youngest of six. I planned to move to the city after graduating and he was also looking at companies to start at there, however, last week he told me his parents had found a wife for him and he was expected to get married within the next year. He’s said he has to, but would still like to see me. He sees both things as very separate. I do not!

I’ve said no. He keeps calling me and trying to tell me he doesn’t want to lose me. We ended up in bed last week, and as he was leaving I said that was the last time. He nodded and left.

I graduate next month, then after the summer I start on a graduate program in the city. Do I just put this down to a college romance and leave it at that?

Niall O.

 

ANiall,

I know it’s tough, but yes, it’s probably wisest to chalk this down to a college romance. If you outed him to his parents, that could cause huge family and cultural issues for him and take any relationship with him to a bad place.

People now-a-days don’t see the big issue with coming out, but it can be tough for everyone in different individual ways.

You have a lot of exciting plans on the horizon. Don’t dwell on the relationship. Look to the future and your new life, job and social life in the city.

 


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