Hooking up with an old crush, but we’re both married…

Q Dear Gay Uncle,

I’ve been straight most of my life. I had a crush in high school with an older classmate, and we fooled around one summer, but he went to college and then I did. We’ve both got married and have wives and children.

I was at my home town clearing out my mother’s house since she’d moved to her retirement community. My High School was having a reunion, so, as I was in town I went to have a trip down memory lane. We met up, and the chemistry was still there. We’re both happy in our marriages, however, the physical attraction felt like fireworks. We went back to my childhood home and made out all night, it felt exactly like that summer.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I love my wife, and in twenty-two years marriage I have never been unfaithful before.

Since that night we’ve connected on line and chat a few times a week. He admitted he’d always thought about me. He wants us to meet up for a fishing weekend. I know there’d be no fishing involved and really want to go. Should I?

Name withheld


A Revisiting old lovers is very dangerous. You’ve already opened the Pandora box, and no matter what I say, I think you’re still going to go on the ‘fishing trip.’ Just be aware if your wife finds out your marriage could be over.

Also, consider where this may be leading. Are you two going to leave your wives and run off together to be happy?  Probably not.  Is this going to turn into an on-going affair, a “Same time next year” kind of thing, where you both will be cheating on your spouses?  Is that what you want for your life?  Having a one-off fling can be very exciting. It can make you feel alive like you haven’t felt in years. But sometimes that’s all it is: an exciting one-off event.  And opening the door to more can cost more than you expect. Be very careful, and take some time to figure out what you actually want.


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