Refining our thoughts is like cleaning out the closet and getting rid of clothes that no longer fit, serve our purpose, or are outdated or worn. Our minds are just like those closets. If we are to live our best life, we must unload the negative thoughts that no longer contribute to our living the life we envision for ourselves. Make room for the new and improved, self-thinking, independent and lovable you by saving your best clothes and preserving your best thoughts.
Some of us have stepped out of the closet, and brought our old worn out, moldy, and outdated trappings with us in the form of negative thoughts. Cleaning closets isn’t for sissies. Parting with old and familiar clothes or thoughts, even though they are useless and limiting, is a hard habit to form, but it’s quite necessary in order to become more of who we are, or choose to be.
Negative thinking about self or others has an insidious effect on one’s life. It’s a gradual accumulation of destructive thoughts that become a habitual way of thinking, talking, and acting. Then, one day we wake up, and realize the life we dreamed or planned for ourselves never materialized. Somehow, we’ve allowed years of negative thinking and self-talk to convince us we’re not smart, worthy, brave, strong, or prepared enough to achieve the personal or professional success of which we’ve dreamed.
Negative thinking is deadly because negative thinking deadens our desires and kills our dreams and aspirations. It robs us of our self-esteem, self-worth, self-love, self-respect, and self-confidence.
Who among us would be content to settle for less than the best life has to offer us? Yet we do, don’t we? At some time in our life, we tossed out our own dreams in favor of living someone else’s dream for us, and when we found ourselves empty handed and short changed, we blamed everyone and everything around us for what we unknowingly allowed to transpire.
Whether it was the fear of confrontation, rejection, ridicule, rocking the boat, a lack of self-esteem or self-worth, we handed over the key to the door that unlocks all our personal longings and secret dreams. Convinced others knew us better then we knew ourselves, we gave our power away, and as a result settled for less than the best life had to offer.
It’s time to rid ourselves of this preoccupation with what others think about us, what we’re doing, what we should be doing, or what we aren’t doing. Pause for a moment and ask yourself the following questions:
- How many thoughts keep me from experiencing love, laughter, joy and bliss in my life?
- What part of me have I sacrificed to please people or to make everything right for everyone else in my life?
- How many times have I said “yes” out of fear of what someone might think when I wanted to say “no”?
- How often have I regretted not speaking the truth about who I am out of fear?
- Why do I feel as if I don’t matter and don’t deserve better?
These are tough questions each of must answer if we are to live our authentic truth and best life. There are no fences, walls, anything or anyone outside of ourselves that can limit our potential to live a life rich with opportunity, to fulfill our dreams, and to become the creator of our own life story. The only obstacles in our way are the thoughts we entertain.
Each of us is made up of boundless spiritual potential just waiting to be awakened. Are you ready to trust and have faith that, if you will just get out of your own way, there will be a solid foundation to stand on that will not be shaken by any storm?
As we awaken, and realize the rewards of being and living our authentic truth, we light the way for others to follow. We begin to resemble a lighthouse that stands firm on solid rock, defying the fury of the elements, forever beckoning, directing, and guiding all ships to safety with the pulsing of her light.
Each of us within the LGBTQ community can be the light that reaches out into the darkness to show the way to others. So many people desire to tap into that indomitable spirit within them that can lead them to a greater, more fulfilling life; a spirit that will, at our request, help us transform our thoughts into those that will reinforce and strengthen our resolve to live the life we intend for ourselves. Be self-propelled, believing, daring, and un-afraid on your journey. Whatever your situation or circumstance, choose to be authentically you! You never know whose life you may impact — starting with your own.
SIDNEY ANDREWS is a gay author, retired nurse, motivational speaker, mother and grandmother. She lives in Florida with her partner, Kate, of 41 years and counting. Their journey to love has been documented in Sidney’s memoir titled A Fall to New Heights: A Love Crept in Un-awares, and Journey into Thought: Awakening to Spirit. Read more of her work at her web site and blog at sidney-andrews.com.