What do you do when somebody you’ve loved your entire life suddenly decides to call it quits?
Are you going to pretend that it’s okay and walk away with a full megawatt smile plastered on your face just to make him feel that you’re not affected at all (even if you’re slowly dying inside and secretly wishing he’d come after you)? Or are you going to cry like a complete idiot and beg him to take you back on the off chance that this emotional blackmail will change his mind about leaving?
Either way, if he has already made up his mind, then there really is nothing left for you to do but to accept it and move on with whatever modicum of pride and dignity you have left in you.
But moving on isn’t always easy and we all know that. Sure, there may be moments when you’ve successfully convinced yourself that you’re completely over him, but believe me, these fleeting moments of being okay won’t last too long. One phone call from him asking if you could send some of his stuff back, and hearing his voice on the other end of the line will unleash a cascade of fresh memories and painful flashbacks. And then before you know it, you’re back to square one all over again.
Anyone who’s been unlucky with love goes through a heartbreak at some point in time. Some bounce back to their normal lives as if nothing’s happened (lucky for them), while others whimper away scared and hurt and perhaps swear off love for the rest of their lives. Because I’m a huge fan of people in love, I want to share with you a survival guide to a painful breakup. Hopefully, these few words of wisdom will give people who had their hearts crushed and shattered a bit of hope that someday they’ll be okay, even if their emotions say otherwise.
Cry your heart out
Cleanse your heart and your mind of all the negativity and pain brought by your breakup with a long good cry. Cry your heart out, scream if you must, and allow all the pain to flow through. Keeping emotions locked up will only prolong your torture.
If he was the first one to delete you from his life then you can always do the same. Delete his number from your speed dial, or better yet, delete it from your contacts so you will not be tempted to dial him when you’ve had too much tequila. Delete his emails, un-follow him on twitter and unfriend him on Facebook. Cutting all communication with your ex will help with the healing process. You don’t want a reminder of his face and his new found lover every time you log in. Trust me, this works all the time.
Sweat it out
Even though he probably didn’t leave you because of your flabby butt, it helps if you determine for yourself to go out there and enjoy a quick run, and sweat all the bad vibes away. Not only are you going to look good and feel sexier, you’re also actually unleashing dormant endorphins (happy hormones) into your system.
Put all his stuff away
Just because he hasn’t called to ask for his stuff back (well not yet anyway), it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get rid of it. Removing all the things that remind you of him will help you forget, at least for just a while. Get a box and put all the fancy stuff in there, tape it and store it in a dark place. That way when he does call, you won’t have to go through the laborious process of packing and taping because it’s all been done. And it’ll spare you from reliving all those feelings all over again.
Gather your friends
Having a stable support system will help you get through the toughest phases of a heartbreak. Keeping the hurt all to yourself won’t do you any good. You need your friends to vent all your bottled-up anger, frustration, bitterness and hurt out. Besides, they pretty much know you well enough to console you, make you laugh, and put that suppressed smile on your face again.
Explore new love interests
This isn’t to say that you’ll screw every guy you meet at the bar to prove to yourself that you’re desirable and that you still got it going for you. When I say explore, I mean you go out there, make yourself look pretty (but don’t try too hard), meet new people, create a new circle of friends, and open yourself up to the idea of dating. Who knows? Maybe in a month or two you’ll find yourself giddy in love all over again.
Take care of yourself
One of the most important things to remember after a breakup is to take good care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. This is the time when you are at your lowest and when you are most vulnerable. So hanging out with the wrong crowd and missing out on your classes will only make matters worse for you and for those who love you. Use this time to make up for those days when all you thought about was him. Now is the time for you to make yourself a priority above anyone else.
Heartbreaks, shattered promises, and broken dreams are painful but we all have to go through it. Mustering up the strength and the will to deal with a heartbreak is tough, but the good news is that even if it may seem impossible for you to be okay at first, I promise that as soon as you apply these guidelines you’ll find yourself on the path to happiness again. Because you deserve it.
FLORENCE AGUILAR, a registered nurse working for NaturalTongkatali.com, is an avid health writer who keeps herself abreast of the latest research and studies on Health Topics. She believes in the benefits of continued learning, and aims to inspire and make the world a better place for both men and women through her writings.