If I Were Wrong

Scribbled in my makeshift journal during the wee hours of one morning.

If I were wrong;
You would salute me
An upright Christian man.

If I were wrong;
A wife by my side
Pitter-patter of tiny feet.

If I were wrong;
A closet
A piece of furniture.

If I were wrong;
Being gay
Means I am happy.

If I were wrong;
The cup of prayerful tears
Barren, parched, forsaken.

If I were wrong;
You would call me

If I were wrong;
You would think me

If I were wrong;
You would give me
Keys to heaven.

But if I were wrong,
Would I have known
God’s tender touch?

A heart stirred
The moving of lips;
I love you Lord?

A quickening
Of the spirit;
The Word is alive?

A wellspring of care;
Feeling the hurts
Fellow travellers feel?

An unconditional love;
Mama and papa
Accepts you so?

A delayed thrill
Of one’s youth;
A crush?

A season
Of new friendships;
Spring in my heart?

A love
Nurtured in the womb;
I am human.

An understanding
Of timeless truth;
I am normal.

A gentle comfort
Peace in my soul
I am saved.


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PEN T. COSTAL is a regular guy from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia who has just discovered his ability to string words together. When not at his day job, or serving his church as a cell-group leader, he enjoys photography, good conversation and travel, though not necessarily in that order. He also daydreams about finding his life partner and husband.  (“Pen” is obviously not his real name, but IMPACTmagazine has agreed to protect his identity.)