Where Faith, the Real World & Gay Life intersect!

When I Became a Sexual Compulsive

When I Became a Sexual Compulsive

Nov 3, 2016

In 2013, I was sick with heartbreak. My boyfriend, on a sunny January day in Baltimore, broke up with me. He was a conservative Christian, and so was I. We both believed that homosexuality was not God’s best for humanity, and that it would be a sin to act on it. And yet, here we were: deeply in love, and now deeply heartbroken. We had lived in a horrible...

Moving Beyond the Gay Christian Debate

Moving Beyond the Gay Christian Debate

Jun 8, 2016

It’s easy to get caught up in the gay Christian debate. It can consume us. There’s a time for vocal advocacy, but there is a whole world of other joys and passions that we may be missing because of our single-minded obsession with debate. It may be time to get on with actually living our lives… Once upon a time, I was known almost exclusively...

Staying Airborne

Staying Airborne

Feb 29, 2016

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her ― Lao Tzu The last few nights, after getting over a pretty severe head cold, I found myself sleeping more deeply than before. I’ve been paying better...

Expectations … or Loneliness…

Expectations … or Loneliness…

Sep 15, 2015

I wonder: when Jesus comes back, when God consummates God’s program, when redemption is complete, will it be possible for God to hide? I wonder if the trick is not drinking until you can’t tell the difference between Mordecai and Haman, but until you can’t tell the difference between God’s hiddenness and God’s presence, or perhaps until you can’t tell the...

Dark Night

Dark Night

Apr 22, 2015

L.T. Miller shares another scene in the continuing story about his life — first in, and then after coming out of an ex-gay ministry. I’ll never forget March 6, 2007 as long as I live. Carolina blue skies reached out to the far shores of California where I was living, and the air was sweet, filled with the soft fragrance of jasmine and flowering plum...

Let’s Not Go Through This Alone

Let’s Not Go Through This Alone

Aug 23, 2014

“Depression is anger without the excitement.” – Mike Wells Depression is anger turned inward… it is anger that has no means of expression… it comes when there is no hope. The tragedy of suicide (whatever variables may be involved) has one underlying current: that person has lost hope. To lose hope is to see no way out of the current situation. Life...

Jesus Isn’t Going to Take Away My Zoloft

Jesus Isn’t Going to Take Away My Zoloft

Aug 12, 2014

I have been taking Zoloft (anti-depressant) for four years. I began taking it during my freshman year in college because I had been suffering from severe panic attacks for about five years and they were beginning to severely interfere with my ability to function in school. Before I became a Christian at the age of twelve, I suffered from severe anxiety,...

Compelled

Compelled

Jun 10, 2014

It’s been three years since it happened, and I can still remember it as if it were yesterday… Last Friday, I had the chance to sit down with a friend of a friend who is currently interviewing people for a soon-to-be-released nonprofit film called Compelling Love. Going into the interview, I only briefly watched the Kickstarter video and glanced at the Facebook...

Culling Brokenness

Culling Brokenness

Jan 4, 2014

We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places — Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt   Blake (my therapist) has said a number of times that I have a tendency to go to a “dark place.” His concern has always been my going there and staying for too long. Sometimes I think he’s right. However, sometimes, we have to go to...

Joy and the Striving

Joy and the Striving

Nov 25, 2013

 Joy and the striving  Lord, I aim for joy I root for its essence, Its expression, I fall short; I fail you. My words are frail And besotted with fear For the good and bad, And everybody knows That’s crazy. But desire is here, And madness, a touch. Still, my cup doesn’t just Runneth over, It refills itself, again and again. And yet, What do you get...