Guys, I have a confession: all my friends are straight.
OK, not all of them. But like, 97%, of them are. If straight people were Krispy Kremes, I would be that weird maple bar you get at the grocery store: the one that everyone still loves, the one that has the right intentions, but the one that is still no Krispy Kreme.
Perhaps that’s too dramatic a metaphor or I’m just really hungry, but it’s true: I’m a gay man living in a straight world. Not only are all my friends straight, but my roommates are straight, everyone I’ve worked with professionally has been straight; at this point, I’m convinced the cat that lurks outside our house is straight too.
Not that it’s a bad thing by any means. I love all my straight friends, especially my roommates. They put up with more fabulous gayness more than anyone else combined. In fact, the first time I ever hung out with one of my current roommates, I drunkenly told him what a “hot mother f@#ker” he was. Over. And. Over. Again. (What? It’s not my fault he has an incredible jaw line.)
And it doesn’t stop there. All 3 of my roommates have fallen victim to what I have to offer, including: jokingly propositioning each one of them for sex, reading them steamy text message exchanges from guys, making them listen to Taylor Swift (she’s only allowed during the day, they say), and hitting on them while blasting Katy Perry’s “Peacock” at them.
Classy, right?
But joking aside, my straight roommates, and friends, are some of the best people I will ever know, from the ones who wear fierce red lipstick to the ones who believe in God to the ones who love coffee like I do. While many of them may not like Daniel Craig the same way I do, they are there for me. They listen to me when I bitch, encourage me when I get rejected by sexy people on Grindr, keep me in check when I’m going cray cray, and let me hang up super not at all inappropriate things on our refrigerator (umm, see photo). They even sometimes dress better than I do, which isn’t fair.
As a sheltered gay, is it ever difficult? Absolutely. For instance, I once told a friend how I was “wonderful with hitting on straight men but a little rusty with the gays.” I simply have no idea how to talk to, let alone date, other gay men. I think it has something to do with body pics and having a BBC (I’ve since Googled what that stands for and giggled harder than whenever watching a Twilight movie). Part of me is afraid to fully immerse myself in “gay culture” because I have no idea what that even is, or how to go about it.
But at the same time, I love it. I love that I have this whole other culture to explore, with new ways of talking and dating and connecting.
And just as much, I love all my straight friends. I love that I get to have girl talk with my roommates and hear about all the adorable dates they go on with their girlfriends. I love that they accept me random gay guy that I am. I love that they don’t make me apologize for having the overactive sex drive of a 14-year-old. More than that, I love that they love me for my heart more than my being gay (and trust me, they love that too.)
And because I’m really sappy and secretly hope my life will someday parallel The Notebook or Fifty Shades of Grey, I want to leave you all with a message of hope and love.
Whether you’re in the closet, out, or simply avoiding straight people in the fear of not being accepted, fear not: straight people are more accepting then ever before. Back in November, when gay marriage was being voted on in Washington, I couldn’t tell you how many text and picture messages I received from straight friends, telling me they were voting to approve gay marriage. “Doing this for you!” they would tell me as I bawled my eyes out in utter happiness in the middle of coffee shops and lectures.
So there you have it. In the end, my life is one big episode of Will & Grace. And that’s what really matters, right?
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JOSH GALASSI studies Journalism – Public Relations at Western Washington University in Bellingham, WA. He has written for such publications as KOMO News, Klipsun Magazine, The Western Front, & EDGE on the Net. He has a knack for learning from mistakes by writing about them for the whole world to read. You can find him on twitter at @classyjgalassi
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