My name is Kaleb St. Clair. I start my day with meditative prayer watching the sun rise behind a curtain of clouds. The breeze is light and the weather report promises low winds – perfect for skydiving.
After months of intensive training, I am finally ready for my first solo jump. I never imagined that having such a profound spiritual experience during my first jump would lead me toward become a certified skydiver.
I am anxious on the plane as we gain altitude. I notice how beautiful the clouds look as they gather. To calm my nerves, I envision an audience of angels assembling to watch me dive. The pilot cuts the engine and the plane glides as I unlatch the door. Despite my training and confidence, I pray angels will travel with me. I hold on to the wing strut, taking one last breath and with my eyes shut, I let go. I dive downwards, quite aware that I am no longer dreaming. I feel my heart racing as I travel 120 miles per hour though the angel’s domain. I imagine Lucifer and his angelic rebellion tumbling uncontrollably towards Earth like reluctant first time skydivers being tossed out of heaven. Their once glorious, white-feathered wings shriveling in descent, useless against God’s wrath; not even repentance could serve as a parachute.
I aim downwards like a meteorite. I open my eyes and see a strange, glowing object in the distance. Its approach hypnotizes me. My eyes narrow in on the object, and even at this distance, my eyes are telling me something that my mind will not accept – someone is coming my way. I begin reaching for my goggles, believing that once removed, the illusion will vanish. But I end up throwing myself off balance and I feel desperation driving me back into position.
I arch forward just in time to zoom by a person. Despite the near collision, I do not yell. I want to look back, but my position does not allow me to. Immediately, I see others. Hundreds, thousands, countless numbers of people shooting upwards like skydivers in reverse. I question my sanity. Perhaps I really am dreaming? Maybe I died in my sleep and stuck in limbo, witnessing events that are only possible in dreams and storybooks. Only seconds have passed since I jumped and I finally remember to look at my altimeter. Whether or not this is a dream, I intend to land safely.
I fall into a sea of reversed skydivers. I scurry in every direction crashing against the wind, maneuvering to avoid collision. By now, I know I am too far off course and my altimeter is nearing the red zone. I have no choice but to deploy my chute.
I feel the parachute deploy, but in that same the second, there is an unfamiliar tug. I begin spinning out of control. All my training suggests a parachute malfunction. I turn in every direction catching glimpses of reversed skydivers. And while I have sustained no injury, I am sure I am colliding with some of them. I have every reason to scream, but despite losing control, I continue praying that angels are truly with me. I deploy the reserve chute. The reserve chute deploys and I quickly remove my goggles. Every human appears ghostly, wearing a white robe, completely luminescent and iridescent. As I float downwards, the people closer to the ground seem to be floating upwards slower than those who precede them.
A woman rising in my direction is smiling and oblivious to my presence. Her eyes focus on something beyond my sight. As she nears eye level, she looks at me. She is crying. I see joy on her face and she laughs. We reach out to each other. Our hands pass through each other’s as you would imagine a ghost passing through a solid object. And without warning, she shoots upward along with everyone. My parachute blocks my view and I know they are gone.
I am about to touch down when my movement reverses. The parachute continues to descend past me. I begin to feel enraptured by energy. My clothing falls away like dead rose petals and I find myself wearing the brightest garment, whiter than snow. Above me, I see what the others saw. It is too magnificent in color to describe. It is like staring into the sun, only a thousand times more powerful. I reach for it, smiling, feeling warmth and love. As I rush upwards, I hear an ethereal voice speak my name, unfamiliar, yet comforting. I feel a presence. With me, as I had prayed prior to jumping, are angels traveling with me. Their wings are as large as compact cars and they, themselves, the size of giants. I turn my attention back to the sky. The last of Earth vanishes away and I feel like I am breaking the sound barrier, flying upwards faster than I have ever dreamt until I slowly come to a halt into a vast world of pure white bliss. No longer can I feel my heart governed by despair. There are millions around me, but the voice I hear, speaks only to me.
“Welcome home, Kaleb.”
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Occasional violinist and trumpet player, avid runner in training for upcoming marathons, and lover of the French language, STEVEN GARZA lives in Brownsville, TX, where he and Eddie have been together for 10 years. He has 4 dogs, loves his flame red jeep wrangler and his tattoos. Steve respects all beliefs, faiths, politics — but just don’t shove it in his face. [/box]