Bringing you the best in independent LGBTQ writing on life & faith

Grieving Straightness

Grieving Straightness

Sep 23, 2013

For many, coming out is liberating… But it’s not always this way. Some people are outed. Some are found out. Some are forced to come out ahead of schedule. Some never come out at all, spending their lives living out the fantasy of what it would mean to be someone else, something else. When people ask me about my coming out story, I very often start with a...

Marriage Advice I Wish I Had

We all need help with our relationships. And we’ll take advice from all kinds of sources, as long as it’s good advice.  Recently, this list has been making its rounds in the press.  Gerald Rogers wrote this one night, contemplating his failed marriage and what he wished he’d known or done better. Though these are the comments of a straight man...

Know and Be Known

Know and Be Known

Aug 16, 2013

“It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely – Albert Einstein It’s official. I’m finished with my first unit of CPE (clinical pastoral education… basically, chaplaincy). I spent 11 weeks at Rush University Medical Center on the near west side of Chicago working on the neuroscience floor in the hospitals newest building, the Tower. 40 hours...

Can LGBT Christians be Reconciled with the Church?

Can LGBT Christians be Reconciled with the Church?

Apr 27, 2013

Imagine for a moment a private conversation between five evangelical pastors and one gay rights advocate. I think any of us could expect a wide range of possible outcomes of such a gathering, especially since three of them have (or had) strong ties to the Assemblies of God, one a Nazarene, and a Methodist. And then the gay guy — me. Last year, when I invited  a...

Plan B – When God’s Promises Don’t Work Out

Plan B – When God’s Promises Don’t Work Out

Apr 24, 2013

The morning started out like most of them do for me.  I paced my livingroom and kitchen with a cup of coffee in my hand, and tried to focus on the reality of the presence of God. A tough sell, some mornings. And for some reason, an old unanswered question was rolling through my head again. What went wrong?  Why didn’t it turn out the way I envisioned, the way I...

Feeling Safe

Feeling Safe

Apr 16, 2013

She had a cold, so I ran us a bubble bath and brought the box of tissues into the bathroom with me. I undressed and got in first. Then I watched her slowly and self-consciously take off her clothing while she sniffled. I wasn’t trying to be a creep and check her out or anything. I just thought that she was utterly adorable in her careful preparation....

Resetting Your Most Important Relationship

Resetting Your Most Important Relationship

Oct 22, 2012

Relationships are probably the single most important thing in life. And they’re impossible unless the people in them know themselves and each other. Kinda basic, right? Okay, now without getting all churchy and religious, the single most important relationship you’ll ever have in your life is between you and God — because it affects...

Enlightenment is Not the Goal

Enlightenment is Not the Goal

Jul 22, 2012

My buddy Jill made a profound statement on Facebook the other day. It was in response to an article about how wimpy liberal Christianity is because it offers little that can’t be found in liberal secularism. But the point is equally valid for “Bible-based” churches as well: Unless there is something distinctly profound, ecstatic or...

You’ll Move to Africa for Jesus, But You Won’t Help Me Move Across Town?

You’ll Move to Africa for Jesus, But You Won’t Help Me Move Across Town?

Sep 24, 2010

Okay, I know I’m sticking my foot into it now, ’cause I’m guilty of this most of the time myself. But how many times do we lay claim to a deep spirituality and a love for God yet turn a blind eye to the difficulties of other people around us? In my case, it looks more like “sure, I’d love to sit with you and chat about deep...

An Ox on the Sabbath

An Ox on the Sabbath

Jan 11, 2009

Compassion trumps correctness. Relationship is more important than being right. Over the past few weeks, my brother and I have been having a lengthy theological discussion over a point of Scripture.  Both of us see our stance as reflecting the heart of God, both see our point as being crucial to the future of people’s lives and immortal souls, and both of...