Bringing you the best in independent LBGTQ writing on life & faith

Love Defiled

Love Defiled

Oct 27, 2014

This is another scene in a continuing story about L.T. Miller’s adventures in (and coming out of) an ex-gay ministry. I felt as if I’d known him before – perhaps in a past life. Who knows? We became friends instantly. Quickly that friendship morphed into something more. We became brothers. We would joke that he was born first and my mother gave him away –...

Mount Tam

Mount Tam

Oct 20, 2014

This is another scene in a continuing story that L.T. Miller will be sharing with us over the coming weeks about his adventures in (and coming out of) an ex-gay ministry. January 6, 1996. We hiked to the top of Mount Tamalpais – our first outing as a group. It was a gorgeous day –  no fog, not a cloud in the sky, and unseasonably warm. Once we reached the...

New Hope – A Coming Out Story

New Hope – A Coming Out Story

Oct 13, 2014

This is the first scene in a continuing story that L.T. Miller will be sharing with us over the coming weeks about his adventures in (and coming out of) an ex-gay ministry. I had been on the road for just under a week. Every emotion known to mankind kept me company. And then the moment I remember most clearly, that moment when I first caught glimpse of the...

Coming Out and Letting Go

Coming Out and Letting Go

Sep 4, 2014

“The energy of avoidance became too great to ignore. I broke. After nearly 20 years of hiding and running away, I made a willful decision to face the pain, address the guilt and talk about the shame. This time, I wasn’t giving up; I was letting go.” Today, I am honored to feature a guest post from my friend Tim Rymel.  I hope your heart is...

Dear Susan: Are Ex-Gay Camps a Good Idea?

Dear Susan: Are Ex-Gay Camps a Good Idea?

Aug 22, 2014

Have you heard of “reparative therapy?”  Ex-gay camps?  Where they “cure” the gay out of kids and young adults?  Do they work – are they a good idea? When a Christian parent of a gay child does a Google search or talks to their pastor, this is often the prescribed remedy to “fix” their child. I welcome the chance to...

“Reparative Therapy”? AGAIN? Nooooo….

“Reparative Therapy”? AGAIN? Nooooo….

Jun 11, 2014

  The Texas GOP has added so-called “reparative therapy” to its new platform. How out-to-lunch, out of touch, or else plain-out hateful do you have to be to think this is a good idea? How selfish, obtuse, blind and cruel does one have to be? This country is not a giant family where “father knows best,” and can impose whatever...

Forgiving My Ex-Gay Counselor

Forgiving My Ex-Gay Counselor

Dec 12, 2013

Three years ago I decided it was time to let go of the anger and bitterness I held towards the pastor that counseled me through five years of ex-gay therapy. At age thirteen my parents suspected that I was gay. Maybe it was playing with barbies when I was really young, kissing other boys when I was five-years-old or getting excited to wear make-up for the...

The “Ex-Gay” and “Enough Faith” Myths, and Why They Failed Me

The “Ex-Gay” and “Enough Faith” Myths, and Why They Failed Me

Mar 21, 2013

Ihave never been an ex-gay. I’ve never gone through an ex-gay ministry, or tried an ex-gay program, and never went into a live-in camp where gay men are taught to behave as straight men. Despite all of this, I can say without any hesitation that ex-gay ministries are no good whatsoever. In fact, they present a great deal of harm to LGBT people, especially LGBT...

Disconnecting from Church – to Save Your Soul

Disconnecting from Church – to Save Your Soul

Feb 7, 2013

When I was in the closet, I was friends with a guy named Chad.  Chad lived in Canada, and he was struggling with whether it was God’s will that he come out of the closet or stay in it.  Of course, we didn’t refer to the issue in those rash terms: to Chad and I, the issue was about whether God was approving of us living a gay lifestyle or not. Both of us had...