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Real Life

“Coming Out” Is Stepping Forward, Not “Going Back”

Posted by on Aug 3, 2016 in Featured, Get Real | 0 comments

“Coming Out” Is Stepping Forward, Not “Going Back”

“The tribe often thinks the visionary has turned his back on them. When, in fact, the visionary has simply turned his face to the future.” ― Ray A. Davis “Going back” in ex-gay speak means returning to the gay “lifestyle.” During my years as an ex-gay leader, I rarely said “lifestyle,” but “going back to being gay” was a stigmatizing description that the ex-gay world used to describe those judged as “worshipping the created instead of the Creator.”  “Going back” was equated to not “holding firm to the faith” or “gave up their faith to live...

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My Journey, My Scars

Posted by on Jun 9, 2016 in Get Real | 0 comments

My Journey, My Scars

  I had the honor of sitting on a panel for my school’s Queer Student Union a few weeks ago. I was asked to speak as, what else, but a queer person of faith, a perspective that I have shared numerous times by now. I was joined by one of my professors — a longtime mentor of mine — who is a lesbian rabbi, as well as three other queer students who identify as Muslim, Catholic, and atheist. When I was initially contacted to speak on this panel, I replied with some trepidation, because my religious identity and worldview had...

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Moving Beyond the Gay Christian Debate

Posted by on Jun 8, 2016 in Featured, Get Real | 0 comments

Moving Beyond the Gay Christian Debate

It’s easy to get caught up in the gay Christian debate. It can consume us. There’s a time for vocal advocacy, but there is a whole world of other joys and passions that we may be missing because of our single-minded obsession with debate. It may be time to get on with actually living our lives… Once upon a time, I was known almost exclusively on the web for being a gay Christian. I wrote day in, day out, about the experience of homosexuality and faith, and I eventually developed a tidy following for my work. For almost all...

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Bravery and Confidence‏. Sometimes you just gotta step out and take a chance

Posted by on Jun 6, 2016 in Get Real | 3 comments

Bravery and Confidence‏. Sometimes you just gotta step out and take a chance

Trey Pearson’s recent coming out was a living example of bravery and the importance of taking a chance. Reggie Sylvan looks at how LGBTQ Christian men should be brave, and uses a couple of Biblical passages to talk about how God calls us to have confidence and take a chance. Over the last couple of days, I’ve been greatly inspired by Trey Pearson’s story. If I’m honest, I’d never heard of his band, Everyday Sunday, before. Christian rock isn’t really my genre. But I’m struck by how brave he has been. He is a prominent member of a...

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Being a 15-year-old. Again. A little empathy for those coming out later in life….

Posted by on May 12, 2016 in Get Real | 0 comments

Being a 15-year-old. Again.  A little empathy for those coming out later in life….

Sexual exploration later in life for LGBT people can be a tricky thing to navigate, and most aren’t afforded the same time to explore, be guided, and grow like heterosexual people are during their teenage years. One of my good friends who is also LGBT, Christian, and affirming (believes that God blesses same-gender marriage) gave me the perfect analogy regarding Second Adolescence — you know, that stage people seem to go through when they come out later in life and haven’t had enough time to adjust yet, things done by hetero...

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Chasing “Exceptional” – My Queer Catholic Drama. When being queer wasn’t queer enough.

Posted by on May 9, 2016 in Featured, Get Real | 1 comment

Chasing “Exceptional” – My Queer Catholic Drama. When being queer wasn’t queer enough.

Run of the mill coming out narratives usually consist of an adolescent realizing at some point that he is “not like the other boys.” And after bouts with crushes on friends, adventures in the world of pornography, a “bisexual phase,” and perhaps a period of deep depression or anxiety, he will eventually “come out of the closet” and reveal his “true identity” to those whom he deems worthy of knowing the “real me.” But run of the mill narratives are boring and reductive. What is my “true identity”? Who is the “real me,” the “queer me”? Those...

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8 Steps to Being Queer in a Non-Affirming Church

Posted by on May 4, 2016 in Featured, Get Real | 9 comments

8 Steps to Being Queer in a Non-Affirming Church

Hey there! Yeah you, the queer in the prayer closet. Having trouble in church? Struggling with looking your pastor in the eye? Dining and dashing in your place of worship? I might be able to help with that. The relationship between queers and the church is in flux right now — some churches are openly affirming, while others hide behind made-up tradition as their means of justified discrimination. I happen to be a faithful member of a church from the latter end of the spectrum. I assume, since you’re reading this article, the same goes...

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Everything that is Wonderful and Terrible About Life After College

Posted by on Apr 5, 2016 in Featured, Get Real | 0 comments

Everything that is Wonderful and Terrible About Life After College

Life after college is weird. It’s been exactly 9 months, 21 days, 11 hours, 11 minutes and 57 seconds since I’ve graduated college, according to a website I’m convinced was created by a 4thgrader. In that time, I’ve had an unpaid internship, worked a part-time job that paid me to say hello, gained 10 pounds, lost 2 pounds, applied to 937 jobs, taken Cialis (just to say I’ve tried it), asked my mom for money approximately 37 times, found myself a sexy, bearded precious pearl honey suckle pumpkin seed (aka boyfriend), and landed myself a job...

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Not Being Terrified of Your Birthday

Posted by on Mar 24, 2016 in Featured, Get Real | 0 comments

Not Being Terrified of Your Birthday

New York City is a mess when it rains. The stairs leading down into the subway become slippery hazards, taxi cabs splash pedestrians as they zoom through puddles, and the city seems to be in an even crankier mood than usual. I imagine rainy days in places like Portland and Seattle to be a mix of dreamy romance and creative nuance. Here they are a train wreck of traffic jams and getting jabbed in the back of your head by umbrellas as you wait for the bus. Perhaps the only good thing about the rain is that, in good mid-Atlantic fashion, it...

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Staying Airborne

Posted by on Feb 29, 2016 in Finding the Balance, Get Real | 0 comments

Staying Airborne

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her ― Lao Tzu The last few nights, after getting over a pretty severe head cold, I found myself sleeping more deeply than before. I’ve been paying better attention to the heaviness in my eyelids, the slowing of my breath, the relaxing of my pulse. Rather than staying awake longer, I’ve been diligent to sit my book down, turn the lamp off, and go...

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