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Love & Sex

What Gay Men Need to Know About STDs

Posted by on Mar 22, 2016 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

What Gay Men Need to Know About STDs

Infographic courtesy of www.carvakasextoys.co.uk

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Thoughts on a Queer Christmas: 5 Golden Rings … or not

Posted by on Dec 30, 2015 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Thoughts on a Queer Christmas: 5 Golden Rings … or not

What do you do when you don’t get the true love, much less the five gold rings? This is, more or less, the question that prompted me to blog this Christmastide on queer perspectives. I keep coming across LGBT folk who are single and miserable about it, to the point of depression and self-destructive thoughts. I suppose I know something of these thoughts, although mostly through a haze of memory. After I came out at the age of 31, I went through a pining period. I longed for a partner. I did personal ads in the paper (as one did at that...

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Dear Guys, These Aren’t the Droids You’re Looking For

Posted by on Oct 6, 2015 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Guys, These Aren’t the Droids You’re Looking For

“Oh look, the cute guy messaged me first!” I exclaim. “Let me see.” My friends reply. “Never mind, he’s not my type.” “How do you know?” “He’s a ‘no fats, fems, blacks, Asians, Caucasians with brown eyes, guys who don’t like the color pink, guys who onlydrink  whiskey, and guys who breathe’ kind of guy.” Haven’t we all been on the receiving end of this? I know I have. I actually won’t message someone back who is very clear in the particulars of their men. Actually, I do message them back with “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” Not...

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Dear Guys: My Real Online Dating Profile

Posted by on Sep 25, 2015 in Featured, Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Guys: My Real Online Dating Profile

Dear Guys, Thanks to social media, we can now condense anything we want to into 140 characters. If you can’t, then you really can’t stay relevant. This idea overflows into the online dating profile. How do we capture someone’s attention in a short span but also try to convey a little bit about what we are? Some of us don’t even try, there is nothing in the profile. We are hoping our shirtless pic showing off our abs will grab every guy’s attention. No guilt trip, I do it too. My last profile pic was when I was at my skinniest in a pair of...

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Love at First Click. Is Online Dating for You?

Posted by on Sep 23, 2015 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Love at First Click. Is Online Dating for You?

Online dating has become a fixed part of our reality in recent years. People used to laugh at it, but with millions using dating sites every day — and marriages sometimes resulting from them — why limit your options?  Here’s a cool bit of trivia for ya: 80% of gay men now meet their long-term partners online.  Interested now? Here’s a list of some common sites, and a few tips on do’s and don’ts.   *You’re welcome. Infographic courtesy of PerfectRing.ie — Find your perfect...

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What’s so Wrong with Being a Christian Slut?

Posted by on Sep 14, 2015 in Cafe Inspirado, Featured, Love & Sex | 16 comments

What’s so Wrong with Being a Christian Slut?

Okay, maybe NOW I’ve actually got to write this thing. I’ve been putting it off for months, writing about Christian sexuality. It’s such an important topic, but honestly, it’s so loaded with inherited moralistic and church tradition baggage — plus, the theology is incredibly subtle — that I didn’t want to open that particular can of worms. People are already questioning my salvation, LOL. But today I saw one more post on Facebook. A friend shared an article about some guy who didn’t want to...

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Dear Guys, If you want it to work, you gotta stick around

Posted by on Sep 11, 2015 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Guys, If you want it to work, you gotta stick around

D ear Guys, You know who you are: the ones that I see as potential boyfriend material. I will always be guarded around you. Maybe even after we get married. That’s just who I am. I’m mixed up and complicated. Just like you, when you’re on Grindr and you say you want to settle down, but jump into the first guys pants that you can.  Honestly, I don’t blame you. I do the same thing. I understand. But it doesn’t change the fact I’ll stay guarded. Sure, maybe deep down somewhere we really do want to settle down. I know I want to. But...

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When was the last time you told yourself “I love you”?

Posted by on Aug 18, 2015 in Cafe Inspirado, Love & Sex | 0 comments

When was the last time you told yourself “I love you”?

When was the last time you told yourself “I love you”? Weird idea? Maybe it sounds like it at first, but we as a community are desperately in need of hearing those words — especially from ourselves. And by “we,” I mean LGBTQ people and Christian people, and especially those of us who fit in both categories. Many of us LGBTQ people have wrestled with our identities, trying to come to terms accepting ourselves, defining ourselves, discovering ourselves, exploring our own psyches, often even seeking professional...

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3 Things We Think About that Sabotage Our Gay Relationships

Posted by on Jul 31, 2015 in Featured, Love & Sex | 0 comments

3 Things We Think About that Sabotage Our Gay Relationships

The most dangerous thing about looking for and falling in love is dwelling in your head for too long. I admit I love being in love. I love thinking about it. I love the Disney movies that celebrate it with those saccharine sweet story lines and the runaway pop hits. (No, I will not Let It Go!) I am a romantic at heart, and I admit to being very adept in using diction and charm to advance the cause of love in my own life, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. Unfortunately, I have had three terrible habits that sabotaged relationships...

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Easing Out of the Closet on the Down Low: 5 tips for being safe

Posted by on Jul 8, 2015 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Easing Out of the Closet on the Down Low: 5 tips for being safe

Let’s face it: sexuality is a complex thing. Not everyone knows they are born gay or straight right out of the vagina, or even at age 5 or 10 or 50. Whether you are newly out, straight but curious, or just can’t get that one time with your same-sex friend out of your mind, I have five tips if you are going in on the down low so you have a safe, good experience and don’t scare yourself back in the closet. I have the experience of being a very religious person attempting to experiment with my sexuality at the ripe age of 39....

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