Bringing you the best in independent LGBTQ writing on life & faith

Love, Sex & Family

LOVE, SEX & FAMILY: This is not your father’s Christian magazine!  Let’s talk about love,  sex, dating, and what makes a family — all from the perspective of being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender and living a life of faith

Dear Gay Uncle: He’s become clingy and obsessive

Posted by on Feb 23, 2018 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Gay Uncle: He’s become clingy and obsessive

Q Dear Gay Uncle, I live quite a happy solitary life. My life is compartmentalised between work, friends, and love life/sexual adventures.  I’m totally at ease with this and am approaching 50 with my life in a contented cycle. I met a date on a hook up app.  We had fun, and met up a few more times.  Before I realised it, I found myself in a relationship. It was nice and I had feelings for him. But he constantly checked in on me, getting upset if I didn’t text in the morning and call him at night.  We had the conversation about us being a...

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Dear Gay Uncle: My messy friend wants to move in

Posted by on Feb 16, 2018 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Gay Uncle: My messy friend wants to move in

Q Dear Gay Uncle, My friend went through a rough time with a split with his partner. For a few weeks he stayed in my spare room while he was getting himself sorted. He is a messy person and I was relieved when he finally moved out into a new house share. I didn’t comment on his messiness as I knew it was just short term and he was going through a rough time. I quite liked having a housemate, though. It was pleasant to have someone to come home to and chat with, so I signed up to a website where travelling actors could stay for a few days or...

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Dear Gay Uncle: He misunderstood our relationship

Posted by on Feb 9, 2018 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Gay Uncle: He misunderstood our relationship

Q Dear Gay Uncle, I previously used social media a lot. When I was going through a rough time at college and coming to terms with being gay I found it to be a great support. Exchanging messages and talking through my stresses of the time. I’m now an out gay man and working in my perfect career. Life is working out for me. Now that things are going well in my life, I only really dip into social media occasionally in the evenings and weekends, but not as much as before. I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and we’ve just linked our social...

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Dear Gay Uncle: He cheated on me — 20 years ago

Posted by on Feb 2, 2018 in Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Gay Uncle: He cheated on me — 20 years ago

Q Dear Gay Uncle, I’ve discovered my partner has had an affair. We’ve been together for nearly twenty years. The affair was in the first year of our relationship. At the funeral of one of our friends, the surviving partner confided in me that his husband and my partner had been together. I worked out the dates and it was in the summer after we started going out together. I knew they’d had a romance in the past, but as he’d been a friend during the entirety of our relationship, I thought it had ended before we got together. We’ve always said...

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Dear Gay Uncle: My partner got a promotion to a new city

Posted by on Jan 26, 2018 in Featured, Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Gay Uncle: My partner got a promotion to a new city

Q Dear Gay Uncle, My partner has won a great promotion in another city. We’ve been together nearly ten years, have a great home together, and superb life. This promotion is what he’s been working towards for the last five years. He was hoping to fill the position that was available where we live, but a counterpart in the same role has taken it here leaving the position open for him in the other office. I’ve been really excited for him, as these roles only come available every five or six years, and it’s normally when the person in the role...

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Dear Gay Uncle: He’s got a problem child

Posted by on Jan 19, 2018 in Featured, Love & Sex | 2 comments

Dear Gay Uncle: He’s got a problem child

Q Dear Gay Uncle, I’ve been dating a fantastic guy, he’s middle aged, but fit and trim, loves hiking and very outdoorsy, but is also equally happy in a city cocktail bar. We started hooking up three years ago, he’d been married to a woman and was going through a divorce. We enjoyed spending time together, so the hook ups became going out to drinks, the theatre and meals out. We officially started dating last summer. His divorce has come through, he’s good friends with his wife and she knows about his sexuality, and we’ve even been going out...

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Dear Gay Uncle: Drunk Dialing

Posted by on Jan 15, 2018 in Featured, Love & Sex | 0 comments

Dear Gay Uncle: Drunk Dialing

Q Dear Gay Uncle, I got married to my partner of 7 years last year and we’re now getting divorced, just after the summer last year he asked to open up the relationship. He claimed he’d not played the field and felt he’d missed out. We’re now both in our forties. Admittedly, he came out in his early thirties. But he hated the bar scene, preferring dinner parties and a more sedate social life. He says he got married as he felt it could reignite our relationship. I didn’t even think we needed reigniting! I’ve moved into my friend’s spare...

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One of God’s Poppy Boys: On Being Sweetly Submissive

Posted by on Aug 25, 2017 in Featured, Love & Sex | 0 comments

One of God’s Poppy Boys: On Being Sweetly Submissive

Several years ago I was walking up a hill with my church pastor when he told me “God knows your type; he’s dealt with many others like you in the past.” He was referring to my tendency for introspection and insecurity, but his point now chimes with another part of me. He reminded me that “type” is not a dirty word in the Christian vocabulary. Everyone is an unrepeatable personality, of course. But part of our capacity to relate to one another is because we identify similarities in other people – traits in ourselves that we spot in others...

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Naked and Unashamed

Posted by on May 20, 2017 in Featured, Love & Sex | 0 comments

Naked and Unashamed

I was raised in the evangelical church. To be frank, the evangelical church is an awful place to learn about sex. One of my friends used to summarize what we were taught with the line “Sex is evil. Sex is bad. Save it for the one you love.” It’s funny, yet so terribly sad. Add to this situation that I was gay. Growing up gay in the evangelical church added heaps of shame to any experience of sexuality I might have had. Even small moments like the tingly feeling that passes through your body when the really cute guy walks into the room was...

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Stop Looking for Mr Right

Posted by on Oct 26, 2016 in Cafe Inspirado, Featured, Love & Sex | 15 comments

Stop Looking for Mr Right

Today a friend took the gutsy step of publicly posting that he was back in the dating game, and thought that with his large pool of friends on Facebook, he might have better luck making connections by announcing to a wider audience. Sure, why not? What are friends for if not setting you up on your next blind date? But here’s the kicker, the thing that got me to write this. He added, “for those seriously interested only.” And there it is. I see it a lot in my Christian guy friends. The desire to skip right over the dating...

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