Where Faith, the Real World & Gay Life intersect!

When I Became a Sexual Compulsive

When I Became a Sexual Compulsive

Nov 3, 2016

In 2013, I was sick with heartbreak. My boyfriend, on a sunny January day in Baltimore, broke up with me. He was a conservative Christian, and so was I. We both believed that homosexuality was not God’s best for humanity, and that it would be a sin to act on it. And yet, here we were: deeply in love, and now deeply heartbroken. We had lived in a horrible...

Stop Looking for Mr Right

Stop Looking for Mr Right

Oct 26, 2016

Today a friend took the gutsy step of publicly posting that he was back in the dating game, and thought that with his large pool of friends on Facebook, he might have better luck making connections by announcing to a wider audience. Sure, why not? What are friends for if not setting you up on your next blind date? But here’s the kicker, the thing that got...

Sacramental “One Flesh” Union Includes Gay Couples Too

Sacramental “One Flesh” Union Includes Gay Couples Too

Oct 10, 2016

Several years ago, as I was journeying out of the traditional theological view of gay marriage, I read an extraordinary book by Dr. James Brownson titled Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing The Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships. Bible, Gender, Sexuality is a thing of theological beauty: elegant, persuasive, and deeply compassionate. It was the book that...

Many are Called but Few are Chosen: Making it happen or waiting for God?

Many are Called but Few are Chosen: Making it happen or waiting for God?

Sep 30, 2016

In the world we live in today where so many of us are constantly goal setting, have you ever taken the time to wonder what kind of goals guys like Moses, David, and Joseph set? You hear it all over the place. I certainly did when I worked in the high end of professional sports. “You have to set your goals and go out there and make things happen for yourself,”...

Finding Fulfillment as a Grocery Store Cashier

Finding Fulfillment as a Grocery Store Cashier

Sep 8, 2016

“Wow” said the man, “you are still working at this store. I’m impressed. Most people with higher IQ’s don’t stay here very long.” “Thanks?” I said, ringing him up. “So what are you really doing with your life,” said another older gentleman as I bagged his groceries, “because clearly you’re...

Intent versus Face Value: A Few (Shocking) Thoughts about the Bible

Intent versus Face Value: A Few (Shocking) Thoughts about the Bible

Aug 23, 2016

I am terrified of a church that applies the texts of Scripture at face value, without a serious and involved consideration of the original audience, the socio-religious context they lived within, and how that context differs from our own. “Take God at His word” sounds cute and all religiousy, but it’s actually quite reckless, extremely...

My Gender? My Sexuality? Do I really need to explain?

My Gender? My Sexuality? Do I really need to explain?

Aug 22, 2016

Maybe you’ve seen this T-shirt… I think I want one … and I bet you know why. The message captures an all-too-common experience: the vague knot in our stomachs, the brace of fear, the incipient eye-roll when we know a question about our orientation, our gender, the people we are and the people we love is coming straight at us. Yes, I’m talking about...

Invisible: HIV+ in Church

Invisible: HIV+ in Church

Aug 11, 2016

Daniel was out with his boyfriend the night he learned that he had contracted HIV. They had been dating for eight months, and had been friends for a year and a half prior to dating. They were sexually active, and Daniel trusted him completely. They had agreed to be monogamous, and he had no reason to believe his boyfriend would cheat. That night, however, there...

“Coming Out” Is Stepping Forward, Not “Going Back”

“Coming Out” Is Stepping Forward, Not “Going Back”

Aug 3, 2016

“The tribe often thinks the visionary has turned his back on them. When, in fact, the visionary has simply turned his face to the future.” ― Ray A. Davis “Going back” in ex-gay speak means returning to the gay “lifestyle.” During my years as an ex-gay leader, I rarely said “lifestyle,” but “going back to being gay” was a stigmatizing description that the ex-gay...

Dear rich gay white man at the RNC…

Dear rich gay white man at the RNC…

Jul 22, 2016

Dear rich gay white man, I see you. I saw you on that stage tonight. Your incessant need for reassurance and acceptance by the very same people who would strip you of your rights if they could; it’s fooled you into thinking you’re one of them. I saw your education, your haircut, your suit, your whiteness, your privilege. They saw your money and influence. But...