Dear Love & Sex Q&A:
Q I’ve been seeing a guy for many years, he’s really nice and when we get together alone it’s lovely. However he’s rude around my friends, he constantly plays with his mobile phone, blanks the conversation he doesn’t like or agree with, and generally causes problems. He has his own friends that he’s the life and soul of the party with. Why can’t he be engaging or at least polite around my friends? It’s taking me to breaking point. We live separately, which is a choice of both of ours, so breaking up wouldn’t be particularly challenging. To be honest, I’ve tried talking to him but he just pulls the mobile phone trick and blanks my conversation.
I can completely relate to your situation. I went out with a guy like that, and in the end I woke up one morning and smelt the coffee and decided I’d had enough. And broke up with him. However, that was me and my situation. Everyone’s situation is different. I would suggest trying to speak to him again. Perhaps ask him to hand you his mobile phone before you talk to him, and make sure he’s very clear he needs to discuss this issue with you. He has to know how important it is to you — and to any future you two might have together.
Best of luck to you. Bad boyfriend behaviour like that is completely frustrating, and monumentally annoying. And you don’t need to tolerate it if you don’t want to. There are plenty of other fish in the ocean who will give you the attention you deserve.
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JONATHAN WELFORD heads up GayDatingExpert.com, a relationship and dating coaching practice. He was awarded the accolade of being one of the top 10 Gay Relationship Bloggers for 2013. He writes gay agony uncle columns for numerous publications in both the UK and USA, and is also a regular columnist for DatingAdvice.com. He lives with his Scottish husband in Manchester, UK.